When I Grow Up I Want My Own Firm

Photo_33_1You know the indignities that you sometimes put up with as a solo, particularly when you work at home?  The comments like "wow, must be nice to do whatever you want all day long" or the implication that you are available to babysit or take a trip spur of the moment?  Sometimes, they’re enough to make you feel like you really don’t have a job.

Well today, I had payback for all of those comments.  My daughter Elana (far left, with my adorable baby niece Leila in the middle and my younger daughter Mira at right) asked me today, somewhat intentionally, if she would make a good lawyer (we had just finished another one of those annoying may/must debates – me: you must do homework neatly, her: no, the teacher does not say must, only try).  I responded that yes, Elana, you will make a good lawyer if that is what you want to be and then Elana asked where she would work if she were a lawyer.  So I began by saying that she could work at a firm, at the government, at which point, Elana cut me off and said "Mommy, why can’t I have my own firm like you?"  Which made my day.

16 Comments

  1. Tamar Israel Dyson on February 9, 2006 at 8:06 am

    Contratulations! You have obviously been a wonderful model of attorneyhood for your girls. I also have daughters (3) and when my eldest was 8 years old she asked me what type of work did an attorney do. After my explanation she wrinkled her nose and solemnly said that she did not want to be an attorney. She had watched me working as a litigation associate on partner track at large law firms. (I worked 13-14 hour days even through my pregnancy with my second daughter – in the ’80s we thought we could do it all!)
    By contrast, my second daughter has observed me working in my home office and has decided that she is going to be a lawyer (if her acting career doesn’t work out, of course)!
    I want to commend you on this blawg – it truly speaks to my needs as a working single mother. I have even made MyShingle my home page!
    Keep up the excellent work.



  2. Tamar Israel Dyson on February 9, 2006 at 8:06 am

    Contratulations! You have obviously been a wonderful model of attorneyhood for your girls. I also have daughters (3) and when my eldest was 8 years old she asked me what type of work did an attorney do. After my explanation she wrinkled her nose and solemnly said that she did not want to be an attorney. She had watched me working as a litigation associate on partner track at large law firms. (I worked 13-14 hour days even through my pregnancy with my second daughter – in the ’80s we thought we could do it all!)
    By contrast, my second daughter has observed me working in my home office and has decided that she is going to be a lawyer (if her acting career doesn’t work out, of course)!
    I want to commend you on this blawg – it truly speaks to my needs as a working single mother. I have even made MyShingle my home page!
    Keep up the excellent work.



  3. Jennifer Sawday on February 9, 2006 at 9:12 pm

    Reading this post made my day! I have an 18 month old daughter. I hope to be in your shoes one day when I explain to her what it is like to be an attorney and the options available for practicing.



  4. Jennifer Sawday on February 9, 2006 at 9:12 pm

    Reading this post made my day! I have an 18 month old daughter. I hope to be in your shoes one day when I explain to her what it is like to be an attorney and the options available for practicing.



  5. Jill Pugh on February 10, 2006 at 5:03 pm

    Yay!! We can only change the world one perception at a time! Clearly you are a fabulous role model for the young women in your life. Way to go!



  6. Jill Pugh on February 10, 2006 at 5:03 pm

    Yay!! We can only change the world one perception at a time! Clearly you are a fabulous role model for the young women in your life. Way to go!



  7. David Giacaloneda on February 12, 2006 at 8:32 pm

    Carolyn, It is always a treat to see Elana and Mira, and now Leila. It’s great to know their image of the profession — through your example — is so good. Better not let Prof. Yabut near them.
    Speaking of Prof. Y I continue to believe that the billable hour is a scapegoat. See the post chronomentrophobia. (Jan. 7, 2005) Until lawyers at all levels are willing to make less money, they very unlikely to obtain more leisure time.
    Senior partners aren’t willing (unless under great pressure from a particular client) to share efficiency savings with their clients. And, lawyers graduating from top schools, as Prof. Schiltz has noted, will stampede to the firm that offers the slightest additional salary, no matter the work conditions.
    In his thoughtful post, dated Jan. 23, 2006, “Warlords and Dickensian Factory Owners” David Maister asks:
    “Why do law firms find it so hard to understand that a feudal
    warlord system forcing everyone to work harder is not the
    height of mankind’s achievement in civilization? I have spent
    twenty years trying to say all professions look similar and can
    learn from each other, but I’m finally prepared to concede that
    lawyers are different – and it has nothing to do with economics.”
    Maister goes on to discuss his conclusions and proposed solution, which includes a “mutually committed force that can throw off the oppressor and craft a more civil and economically functioning society”.
    Unlike Maister, however, I believe that lawyer greed is very much part of the problem and, despite all of its psychological roots, greed seems to be an economic issue . As I stated last year in fee fie foe and fum:
    “If young lawyers want to work saner schedules but don’t want to sacrifice income or “prestige,” they need to stop whining and realize that they are part of the problem.”
    If lawyers aren’t willing to give up income or so-called “prestige,” then they really don’t have a preference for leisure and family time — they just like to think that they do.
    p.s. I hope you are willing to share some of your foibles with the world, as I hereby weird-tag you. Although Prof. Yabut was quite prolix with his Weird List, you can be as pithy as you like — see, e.g., Pris Campbell‘s quickie list.



  8. David Giacaloneda on February 12, 2006 at 8:32 pm

    Carolyn, It is always a treat to see Elana and Mira, and now Leila. It’s great to know their image of the profession — through your example — is so good. Better not let Prof. Yabut near them.
    Speaking of Prof. Y I continue to believe that the billable hour is a scapegoat. See the post chronomentrophobia. (Jan. 7, 2005) Until lawyers at all levels are willing to make less money, they very unlikely to obtain more leisure time.
    Senior partners aren’t willing (unless under great pressure from a particular client) to share efficiency savings with their clients. And, lawyers graduating from top schools, as Prof. Schiltz has noted, will stampede to the firm that offers the slightest additional salary, no matter the work conditions.
    In his thoughtful post, dated Jan. 23, 2006, “Warlords and Dickensian Factory Owners” David Maister asks:
    “Why do law firms find it so hard to understand that a feudal
    warlord system forcing everyone to work harder is not the
    height of mankind’s achievement in civilization? I have spent
    twenty years trying to say all professions look similar and can
    learn from each other, but I’m finally prepared to concede that
    lawyers are different – and it has nothing to do with economics.”
    Maister goes on to discuss his conclusions and proposed solution, which includes a “mutually committed force that can throw off the oppressor and craft a more civil and economically functioning society”.
    Unlike Maister, however, I believe that lawyer greed is very much part of the problem and, despite all of its psychological roots, greed seems to be an economic issue . As I stated last year in fee fie foe and fum:
    “If young lawyers want to work saner schedules but don’t want to sacrifice income or “prestige,” they need to stop whining and realize that they are part of the problem.”
    If lawyers aren’t willing to give up income or so-called “prestige,” then they really don’t have a preference for leisure and family time — they just like to think that they do.
    p.s. I hope you are willing to share some of your foibles with the world, as I hereby weird-tag you. Although Prof. Yabut was quite prolix with his Weird List, you can be as pithy as you like — see, e.g., Pris Campbell‘s quickie list.



  9. David Giacaloneda on February 12, 2006 at 8:44 pm

    Carolyn, I apologize for somehow — more of my peridementia — including part of another Comment (to Prof. Bainbridge) inside my Comment to you. Only the first paragraph and the contents of the “p.s.” were meant for you. Prof. B is another “taggee.” If you can delete the other materials, please do. Very humble apologies.



  10. David Giacaloneda on February 12, 2006 at 8:44 pm

    Carolyn, I apologize for somehow — more of my peridementia — including part of another Comment (to Prof. Bainbridge) inside my Comment to you. Only the first paragraph and the contents of the “p.s.” were meant for you. Prof. B is another “taggee.” If you can delete the other materials, please do. Very humble apologies.



  11. Nicole Black on February 14, 2006 at 5:52 pm

    I’d meant to comment on this back when you posted it. I agree with the above comments that you do a great job on your blog across the board, including your posts about balancing life and work.
    It’s great that your daughter feels that way. I hope that I’m as lucky with my own daughters!



  12. Nicole Black on February 14, 2006 at 5:52 pm

    I’d meant to comment on this back when you posted it. I agree with the above comments that you do a great job on your blog across the board, including your posts about balancing life and work.
    It’s great that your daughter feels that way. I hope that I’m as lucky with my own daughters!



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